Buying vs. Shopping


Here’s My Take On Holiday Shopping

Men buy and women shop. And they shop and they shop.  At least in my family, where I buy and my wife, Bobbie, shops.

I’ve been married to Bobbie for 42 years and I just realized the other day that I buy and she shops; this difference in the way we spend time in stores has caused tension  — and a few flare-ups– in our marriage over the years.

It’s a Delmont family joke that when Bobbie tells me she’s just going to “run in” to the store, I don’t know what she means. After all these years, I still don’t get the message: She’s SHOPPING, not BUYING. And you don’t shop in just a few minutes.

I always assume she is running in to BUY something, a simple straightforward task that should only take a few minutes. Walk to the department, pick up the item, check out and back to the car where I’m waiting for her. I can occupy myself calmly in the car for a few minutes and while she does her BUYING. But after 15 minutes or so, I start to get edgy. That’s where the tension comes in.

The problem, of course, is that I never realized she wasn’t BUYING, she was SHOPPING. And that takes longer than buying, a lot, lot longer.

When I explained to her the other day my concept of Buying versus Shopping, she looked at me like I was crazy, a look both of us have become familiar with over the years.

The day after we had our discussion, Bobbie reported the talk to her nurse friends at work. “They all told me that you’re nuts,” she said with a small smile when she related the chat.

“If that’s the way he feels” her best friend told Bobbie, “give him a list and let him go on his silly little BUYING trip. See how long it takes him.”

“I’ll make up your list,” she told me. “You can go buying; I’ll stay home by the fire with a glass of wine and my book.” That’s how it came to pass that I was out buying late one evening recently.

How did this happen, I wondered as I trudged across the dark, snowy parking lot toward the distant lights of the Target Superstore?

Buying vs. Shopping. I just wanted to make a point, to reach an agreement on how we would spend our time in the stores. I didn’t want change to my lifestyle. After 42 years, I probably should have known better.

Merry Christmas, shoppers. And buyers, if there are any of  you out there. JD

Contact me with news tips and story ideas at 952/893-6876 or

Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: